Hacked!? Again!?

👓 3 minutes

TL;DR — I've received some more emails telling me that I've been hacked. Since I still don't believe them, I thought I'd make fun of another one instead.

Since my last post about script-kiddies using spam to try and commit fake extortion, I’ve recevived plenty of other threatenting emails from lamers, so here’s another one from the (spam) vault:

From: [redacted-address]
To: [redacted-address]
Subject: Security Warning. Third party accessed to [redacted-address].

Hello!

I’m is very good coder.

Just not much of a writer, apparently.

I am known by my nickname finn29.

Look, man - I’ve known The Finn since 1984. And you, sir, are not The Finn.

I hacked this mailbox more than six months ago,
through it I infected your operating system with a virus (trojan) created by me and have been spying for you a very long time.

Somehow, I find this hard to believe.

I understand it is hard to believe, but you can check it yourself.
I’m sent this e-mail from your account. Try it yourself.

No, “you’re” didn’t send this email from my account. In fact, if I had to guess, you tried to send it from your parents’ basement (which I have the IP for, by the way), but my SPF rules caught it, flagged it, and dumped it into my spam folder. As they should have.

Even if you changed the password after that - it does not matter, my virus intercepted all the caching data on your computer
and automatically saved access for me.

I think you’ve been watching too much CSI: Cyber.

I have access to all your accounts, social networks, email, browsing history.
Accordingly, I have the data of all your contacts, files from your computer, photos and videos.

Oh noes, all of the contacts stored on my computer? What is this, 1998?

I was most struck by the intimate content sites that you occasionally visit.
You have a very wild imagination, I tell you!

I do, actually, but not in the way you want.

During your pastime and entertainment there, I took screenshot through the camera of your device, synchronizing with what you are watching.
Oh my god! You are so funny and excited!

I don’t even know what to say to that.

I think that you do not want all your contacts to get these files, right?
If you are of the same opinion, then I think that $643 is quite a fair price to destroy the dirt I created.

$600 to erase the pictures and videos you don’t have? What a bargain!

Send the above amount on my BTC wallet (bitcoin): 19kXyFbvetft819v4QV5g9vzrjwNqRtvgA
As soon as the above amount is received, I guarantee that the data will be deleted, I do not need it.

Well, you seem trustworthy, so I’m sure I can believe your “guarantee”.

Otherwise, these files and history of visiting sites will get all your contacts from your device.
Also, I’ll send to everyone your contact access to your email and access logs, I have carefully saved it!

I’ve spent the last 10 minutes trying to figure out what he’s saying here, but I just can’t make sense of it.

Since reading this letter you have 48 hours!
After your reading this message, I’ll receive an automatic notification that you have seen the letter.

Doubtful, since it’s now been 96 hours since you sent the message, and my contacts still haven’t received anything from you. I mean, me. Whatever.

I hope I taught you a good lesson.
Do not be so nonchalant, please visit only to proven resources, and don’t enter your passwords anywhere!
Good luck!

Indeed, you have taught me a lesson: how not to extort money from someone.